Yesterday I had a quite long discussion with my daughter about many subjects wrapped around the Allyants. The one that comes up a lot is me wanting my family to massage my sore muscles after a day of construction work. I’m not sure if she was in the argumentative mood or just player the Devil’s Advocate but it didn’t seem I was getting my point across with all of the words expended. She was saying that I could go to Massage Envy, which I have gift cards for from multiple people whom I helped and didn’t take money. I was stating simply that I didn’t want that…..I wanted something different. I want my family, the ones I was working for to give me the massage. After thinking about it, I would explain that I wanted my muscles to stop hurting even if only temporarily, I wanted to be cared for by family, not someone doing their job for money, and I wanted to spend quality time with them not a stranger. Oh yeah, one more thing that I think is a flaw in the massage business. I wanted to fall asleep after I was so relaxed …… my version of a happy ending.
Talking with my wife this morning about our discussion, something came to my mind that I was deathly afraid of saying but against my inner wisdom I said it anyway.
“Don’t massage me when I’m dead!” I blurted out.
Weird I know but don’t we do that all of the time? How many people show up to funerals when they neglected the person while alive?
How many were angry, not talking to each other but show up “out of respect”?
“I only wish we had more time together”, “I should have taken that trip with her that she wanted to go on”, “I remodeled that kitchen just the way she always wanted it when she was alive” ………. I could go on forever with the comments heard about the wishes of the deceased. Even though I haven’t heard “I massaged him really well before burying him” it fits in there somewhere. Today we all can find someone alive and well, to do that thing that they really want …….while they are alive.
Someday it will be too late.